Written 11/29/15
Today was hard. Technically, yesterday was hard. You see, I have this thing called Adrenal Fatigue that at first I didn't really actually think was a 'thing' but it turns out its definitely 'a thing'. Some days I preach truth and press on. Days like yesterday, I give in to depression and despair despite the truth that I know. I barely got the kids to Redeemer Stillwater and just wanted to be able to get my kids there without having to push through sheer exhaustion but that's my reality. So my plan was to sit during worship. After all, I didn't have the energy to stand. And oh how those songs ministered to my soul:
Present Day:
Again...no idea what songs we sang 5 years ago but obviously they ministered to my soul as songs most always do. And here is another short intro to a very challenging part of my life that hopefully I will write about soon. I thought about deleting these drafts I began 5 and 6 years ago but thought I would go ahead and post these tidbits of thoughts of mine.
Lord willing I will tell my story in the hopes that it encourages others to press on to love Jesus and live worthy of the gospel.
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
Written 7/19/2014
Well, I just re-read my last post and good news: I'M PREGNANT! Thirteen weeks and four days to be exact! God is good. Even if I were still waiting on baby number three...God would still be good.
But that's not why I'm writing. Not really anyway. You see, a little over 6 years ago God did a work in my life. I was sitting on a giant rock planted perfectly by God on the beach in La Barra when God removed an idol from my life.
Present Day:
Not sure where I intended to go with this story but thought I would post this draft from five years ago as is seeing how so many posts were about sanctifying work in my life while waiting to be pregnant again....oh how sanctification ramped up after Abbey was born. More to come on that later I imagine if I can resurrect this blog.
God has done great things. And I am filled with joy. But the road has been long and hard.
Well, I just re-read my last post and good news: I'M PREGNANT! Thirteen weeks and four days to be exact! God is good. Even if I were still waiting on baby number three...God would still be good.
But that's not why I'm writing. Not really anyway. You see, a little over 6 years ago God did a work in my life. I was sitting on a giant rock planted perfectly by God on the beach in La Barra when God removed an idol from my life.
Present Day:
Not sure where I intended to go with this story but thought I would post this draft from five years ago as is seeing how so many posts were about sanctifying work in my life while waiting to be pregnant again....oh how sanctification ramped up after Abbey was born. More to come on that later I imagine if I can resurrect this blog.
God has done great things. And I am filled with joy. But the road has been long and hard.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Philippi and Syria
Just finished studying up Philippians 1:12-30 this morning and am struck by the Christ-exalting, gospel-centrality of it all. Every aspect of our life is meant to honor Christ and advance the gospel, whether that be imprisonment, death, or something else. Paul then encourages/commands the Philippians to live a life worthy of the gospel and to not be frightened by their opponents. Because after all, their suffering (that has been granted to them along with their belief in Christ) serves to honor Christ and advance the gospel and if they die preaching the gospel then they gain CHRIST (v21)!
I can't help but think once again of our believing brothers and sisters in Christ in Syria and other places of the world who face a very scary opponent on a daily basis. A physical opponent, ISIS, that is targeting believers but killing really anyone they want to kill in the moment. I can't imagine being in THEIR shoes and hearing Paul's words to me:
Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are STANDING FIRM in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel AND NOT FRIGHTENED IN ANYTHING by your opponents. This is a CLEAR SIGN to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. (Philippians 1:27-28)
How many times have people in the past come to know the Lord by watching Christians suffer? Paul, once Saul, himself persecuted Christians before he came to faith. In fact, he was collecting the coats of the men who made Stephen the first martyr (Acts 7:54-8:1). He approved of his execution. The rest of Acts is filled with the missionary accounts of this man who once killed Christians and story after story of how the gospel spread and how the church grew in light of Stephen's death and Paul's suffering as well.
I so pray for the believers in Syria facing certain death that THEY WOULD NOT BE FRIGHTENED BY THEIR OPPONENTS! I pray that with full courage, now as always, Christ will be honored in their lives, whether by life or by death (v20). And I pray that in their suffering and deaths those that are persecuting them would see that CLEAR SIGN that those they are killing are fearless because of their salvation in God but that they (the persecutors) are headed to destruction! I pray that clear sign of their destruction would cause them to cry out to the God of those whom they are killing, that He would save them! I pray that the church of God would grow and flourish. That when ISIS kills 200 Christians that 500 Christians would be born and would boldly proclaim the gospel with confidence. I pray that many of those men in ISIS would go from Saul to Paul. That God would save them and use them to proclaim the gospel and put an end to this mess.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Here it is everybody...God's will for your life.
Y'all ready for this? To finally find out what God's will is for your life? Yeah? Yeah? Ok. Here goes.
......
Your sanctification. (gasp)
That's it? Sorta. In a nutshell.
You see, our sanctification means making us more like Jesus, ie: holy, which means more glory for God. Because ultimately God is all about His glory. And before you go off huffing and puffing because you think God is so self centered that all He cares about is His glory (at your expense)...do realize, it is precisely because of His glory that we have salvation. You see, it glorified God to LOVE the world (His people) by sending His ONLY Son (at HIS expense) to be sin for us (on our behalf) so that we wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of our own sin which is eternal separation from the One who satisfies wholly and perfectly (John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 5:21). I mean, that is what Hell is. The complete absence of God. Being completely given over to your sin. That you wanted more than God. Sin that never satisfies. Sin that devours. From the inside out and the outside in. I don't really understand exactly what hell is or how to explain it (another study for another time) but we're talking about sanctification here and if you're a believer then hell is out and sanctification is in. Phew.
So God's will for me is to be sanctified. AKA to be made more like Jesus. To be set apart. To be holy.
Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.
So why is this so hard? Because HOW God sanctifies is, well, hard sometimes. Actually, pretty much all the time. You see, I don't think God cares so much about WHAT we do with our lives but HOW we do it. So, college student with the undecided major. Don't freak out. Because you can be a student who glorifies God in your studies and one who is sanctified by it. So, wannabe missionary with no 'country laid upon your heart', don't freak out. There's lost people, unreached peoples, all over the world (but mostly in the 10/40 window). Pick a location on God's green earth (that area might not be so green though) that looks appealing to you with an unreached people group within it and GO. I venture to say that God cares less about WHERE you go and more about HOW you go and WHAT your conduct is among them and the CLARITY of the message you are bringing them. So what is God's will for your life? Love God and do what you want (Augustine said that right?)! Glorify God in how you live, Christian, whether that is a banker or a stay-at-home mom or a professional athlete or a missionary or a church planter or a janitor or a cashier at McDonalds. See to it that whatever role you're in, you are living in a manner worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27)!! Does God care whether you go to school to be a nurse vs a social worker? He cares but probably not in the way you think. He's (probably) not going to give you a flashing light in the sky that leads you one way over the other. He probably wants you to do what you'll enjoy most and He definitely wants you to use that for His glory. And you will definitely be sanctified in it. Right. Back to sanctification. It's hard to talk about sanctification without switching over to God's glory because our sanctification glorifies God. They go hand in hand.
So, the hard part. Sanctification comes in many forms. Forms that I'm not too particularly fond of at the moment. Honestly, I'm a little mad at God right now that things have to be the way they are. But He's a big God and He can handle my little anger. (And by His great grace my heart will be softened.) Why do I have to be sanctified this way? Why does Brock have to be sanctified through Leukemia that keeps him an hour and a half away from his wife and kids among a bajillion of other sanctifying/hard things? Why does my friend have to be sanctified through a miscarriage? Why does Amy have to be sanctified through breast cancer and a double mastectomy? Why does my friend have to be sanctified through fertility problems? Why? Why does your will for my life have to be X, Y, Z? Why do I have to wait, even longer, for a third child? A friend of mine last summer put it this way, "I feel as if God hurt my feelings." Yeah. I totally get that now. My feelings have been hurt, God. Oh He knows. And He cares. And He loves. Even when it's hard. Because His will for my life is my sanctification. Which equals "Jesus likeness". Which equals my ultimate satisfaction. Have you ever eaten healthy for any length of time? Worked out for any length of time? You had to deny yourself a few luxuries along the way (donuts, a nap, watching TV to name a few) in order to enjoy the benefits of a healthy, strong, skinny(er) body. You deny yourself one (many) momentary pleasure(s) for a greater good: a healthy, skinny(er) body. Donuts for skinniness. God does that for us. He denies us the donut for a greater good. He denies us our momentary pleasure in order to give us the lasting pleasure we have in His Son, the one He is making us like. He denies me my desire for a third pregnancy/baby (for a time, anyway, hopefully) to give me what He knows I should ultimately desire and what will ultimately satisfy, which is Christ/Christ-likeness. He's revealing to me that I really just want the donut and NOT the one who MADE the donut: God. Silly analogy but do you catch my drift?? Good grief, how stubborn my heart must be that I'm still on this rant! My last few blog posts may have different titles but they are really all about the same thing. God's sanctifying work in my life. God is lovingly and gently and caringly (is that a word?) pulling my idols out of my heart right in front of my eyes, smashing them, and then giving me Him. How gracious. How loving. It would be like me taking poison out of my son's hand and handing him an apple instead. One brings death and the other brings life and is far more satisfying. All analogies break down at some point (because God is so much more than an apple) but you get it, right?
God. Is. So. Good. To give us Himself. Instead of what we think we want when we want it more than Him.
And that is why I had to write this. For my own sake. Seeds of doubt have been planted in the soil of my mind leading me to doubt God's goodness. And by God's grace, He is plucking them up and disposing of them, one by one. And that by my gospel saturated, Christ centered Church at FBC Wolfforth through the songs we sing, the prayers they pray, the sermons they preach, the devos they teach, the conversations had with friends, etc. And by my friends who text me scripture when I don't have the desire to flip open my bible. And husbands who lovingly remind us of the gospel. And a sister who gets me and I can be totally sarcastic with in the midst of my anger and she knows I'm only kidding but can still preach truth to me in those discouraging moments. We need the body of Christ and praise God for His body of believers!
So, cheers (grande Greek Treat in the air) to God for my sanctification. For stripping me of my idols and giving me Him. Where pleasures are forevermore.
......
Your sanctification. (gasp)
That's it? Sorta. In a nutshell.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification...
1 Thessalonians 4:3
That pretty much sums it up.
You see, our sanctification means making us more like Jesus, ie: holy, which means more glory for God. Because ultimately God is all about His glory. And before you go off huffing and puffing because you think God is so self centered that all He cares about is His glory (at your expense)...do realize, it is precisely because of His glory that we have salvation. You see, it glorified God to LOVE the world (His people) by sending His ONLY Son (at HIS expense) to be sin for us (on our behalf) so that we wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of our own sin which is eternal separation from the One who satisfies wholly and perfectly (John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 5:21). I mean, that is what Hell is. The complete absence of God. Being completely given over to your sin. That you wanted more than God. Sin that never satisfies. Sin that devours. From the inside out and the outside in. I don't really understand exactly what hell is or how to explain it (another study for another time) but we're talking about sanctification here and if you're a believer then hell is out and sanctification is in. Phew.
So God's will for me is to be sanctified. AKA to be made more like Jesus. To be set apart. To be holy.
Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.
So why is this so hard? Because HOW God sanctifies is, well, hard sometimes. Actually, pretty much all the time. You see, I don't think God cares so much about WHAT we do with our lives but HOW we do it. So, college student with the undecided major. Don't freak out. Because you can be a student who glorifies God in your studies and one who is sanctified by it. So, wannabe missionary with no 'country laid upon your heart', don't freak out. There's lost people, unreached peoples, all over the world (but mostly in the 10/40 window). Pick a location on God's green earth (that area might not be so green though) that looks appealing to you with an unreached people group within it and GO. I venture to say that God cares less about WHERE you go and more about HOW you go and WHAT your conduct is among them and the CLARITY of the message you are bringing them. So what is God's will for your life? Love God and do what you want (Augustine said that right?)! Glorify God in how you live, Christian, whether that is a banker or a stay-at-home mom or a professional athlete or a missionary or a church planter or a janitor or a cashier at McDonalds. See to it that whatever role you're in, you are living in a manner worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27)!! Does God care whether you go to school to be a nurse vs a social worker? He cares but probably not in the way you think. He's (probably) not going to give you a flashing light in the sky that leads you one way over the other. He probably wants you to do what you'll enjoy most and He definitely wants you to use that for His glory. And you will definitely be sanctified in it. Right. Back to sanctification. It's hard to talk about sanctification without switching over to God's glory because our sanctification glorifies God. They go hand in hand.
So, the hard part. Sanctification comes in many forms. Forms that I'm not too particularly fond of at the moment. Honestly, I'm a little mad at God right now that things have to be the way they are. But He's a big God and He can handle my little anger. (And by His great grace my heart will be softened.) Why do I have to be sanctified this way? Why does Brock have to be sanctified through Leukemia that keeps him an hour and a half away from his wife and kids among a bajillion of other sanctifying/hard things? Why does my friend have to be sanctified through a miscarriage? Why does Amy have to be sanctified through breast cancer and a double mastectomy? Why does my friend have to be sanctified through fertility problems? Why? Why does your will for my life have to be X, Y, Z? Why do I have to wait, even longer, for a third child? A friend of mine last summer put it this way, "I feel as if God hurt my feelings." Yeah. I totally get that now. My feelings have been hurt, God. Oh He knows. And He cares. And He loves. Even when it's hard. Because His will for my life is my sanctification. Which equals "Jesus likeness". Which equals my ultimate satisfaction. Have you ever eaten healthy for any length of time? Worked out for any length of time? You had to deny yourself a few luxuries along the way (donuts, a nap, watching TV to name a few) in order to enjoy the benefits of a healthy, strong, skinny(er) body. You deny yourself one (many) momentary pleasure(s) for a greater good: a healthy, skinny(er) body. Donuts for skinniness. God does that for us. He denies us the donut for a greater good. He denies us our momentary pleasure in order to give us the lasting pleasure we have in His Son, the one He is making us like. He denies me my desire for a third pregnancy/baby (for a time, anyway, hopefully) to give me what He knows I should ultimately desire and what will ultimately satisfy, which is Christ/Christ-likeness. He's revealing to me that I really just want the donut and NOT the one who MADE the donut: God. Silly analogy but do you catch my drift?? Good grief, how stubborn my heart must be that I'm still on this rant! My last few blog posts may have different titles but they are really all about the same thing. God's sanctifying work in my life. God is lovingly and gently and caringly (is that a word?) pulling my idols out of my heart right in front of my eyes, smashing them, and then giving me Him. How gracious. How loving. It would be like me taking poison out of my son's hand and handing him an apple instead. One brings death and the other brings life and is far more satisfying. All analogies break down at some point (because God is so much more than an apple) but you get it, right?
God. Is. So. Good. To give us Himself. Instead of what we think we want when we want it more than Him.
And that is why I had to write this. For my own sake. Seeds of doubt have been planted in the soil of my mind leading me to doubt God's goodness. And by God's grace, He is plucking them up and disposing of them, one by one. And that by my gospel saturated, Christ centered Church at FBC Wolfforth through the songs we sing, the prayers they pray, the sermons they preach, the devos they teach, the conversations had with friends, etc. And by my friends who text me scripture when I don't have the desire to flip open my bible. And husbands who lovingly remind us of the gospel. And a sister who gets me and I can be totally sarcastic with in the midst of my anger and she knows I'm only kidding but can still preach truth to me in those discouraging moments. We need the body of Christ and praise God for His body of believers!
So, cheers (grande Greek Treat in the air) to God for my sanctification. For stripping me of my idols and giving me Him. Where pleasures are forevermore.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD.
Acts 3:19-20
Come Ye Sinners
Come, ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore,
Jesus ready stands to save you, full of pity, love, and power.
Come ye needy, come, and welcome, God's free bounty glorify,
True belief and true repentance, every grace that brings you nigh.
True belief and true repentance, every grace that brings you nigh.
I WILL ARISE AND GO TO JESUS, HE WILL EMBRACE ME IN HIS ARMS,
IN THE ARMS OF MY DEAR SAVIOR, OH THERE ARE TEN THOUSAND CHARMS
Come, ye weary, heavy laden, lost and ruined by the fall.
If you tarry till you're better, you will never come at all.
Lo, The Incarnate God ascended, pleads the merit of His blood.
Venture on Him, venture wholly, let no other trust intrude.
I WILL ARISE AND GO TO JESUS, HE WILL EMBRACE ME IN HIS ARMS,
IN THE ARMS OF MY DEAR SAVIOR, OH THERE ARE TEN THOUSAND CHARMS
I take courage that Jesus too, asked if there was any other way to save God's people, if it could be done that way, instead of the cross. But when reality settled in, He went to the cross with joy. And I too can accept the will of God for my life with joy. Because my Savior did it.
"Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."
Luke 22:42
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, LOOKING TO JESUS, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who FOR THE JOY SET BEFORE HIM ENDURED THE CROSS, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16
So, I may not like my circumstances at the moment but one thing I do have that will bring me satisfaction and joy...is Jesus. And He is really all I need.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Sanctification? Check!
Lately I've been struck with the reality that all of life really is about our sanctification. And that's not a bad thing. Just reality. And it's ultimately for our good. Because it lands us at Jesus' feet. This question from Gary Thomas' book "Sacred Marriage" keeps popping into my head:
"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" (p13)
Marriage has certainly been a constant source of sanctifying moments but lately it's been other things. One thing in particular. Friend's of mine announcing they are pregnant. I rejoice with them but then I immediately begin to think:
"What if God designed timing of pregnancies to make us holy more than to make us happy."
I hesitate to write on this again as I feel I'm beating a dead horse since I wrote something similar to this in my post about desires. But God seems to be beating this dead horse in me, maybe because the horse is still not dead...sorry...horrific analogy.
To let you in on a little secret, Jason and I want lots of kids. We usually say, "We want as many as the Lord will give us." But maybe what we (read: I) really mean is we want lots of kids really close together! Clearly, it's for my sanctification to not have that desire fulfilled. Which is good. Why? Because then I run to Jesus, and I find satisfaction there in His presence. Not in a positive pregnancy test.
But what strikes me is this. In December, while my family was in Lubbock for Christmas, my sister-in-law found out she was pregnant. With their fifth. They had twins a little over a year ago. They weren't necessarily trying to get pregnant except for the occasional, "Yeah, let's go for it." Welp, they went for it and so did God. Boom. Baby number five on the way. Excuse me, baby GIRL number five on the way. Yep, five girls. Some lucky husbands in the future. They're precious girls. Anywho, I remember Ryan praying before they headed out and he prayed a verse from Psalms (or maybe Proverbs) about how children are a blessing from the Lord, even when we may not "want" another (read that carefully, more of a timing thing...they clearly love children!). I held back tears because I LONGED to be in Sarah's shoes. Pregnant with her fifth. Post twins. My dream. God knows that. But what is sanctifying for me is NOT getting that. What's sanctifying for Ryan and Sarah, is having baby girl number five on the way!
A few weeks later Matt and Whitney Hampton are at our dinner table and announce they are pregnant! I had absolutely NO trouble rejoicing with them as we have prayed for them for a year to get pregnant and been with them through life's ups and downs and I could not be more happy for them. But again. A friend of mine was pregnant and I was not. That was around the time when God began to show me my little idol of 'desiring children' (explained in my post titled "Desires...they're tricky.). Sanctification at it's finest.
Then. Yesterday. A friend who I will not name (as it's not public knowledge yet) sent me a text of a positive pregnancy test. Followed by a text saying she was devastated (again, read carefully, they love children but...). Why was she devastated? She didn't want to have another until her second (they have three) were in school. She has health issues and wanted to lose weight. They have financial concerns. She wanted more kids but the timing of this couldn't be more wrong. Or could it?
"What if God designed the timing of pregnancies to make us holy more than to make us happy?"
I would be so happy to be pregnant right now but would it be the most sanctifying? Probably not. My friend would be so happy to not be pregnant right now but would it be the most sanctifying? Probably not.
When I desire God above all else, I essentially desire my sanctification more than my happiness because I know to be like Jesus, to be in his presence, brings ultimate happiness. Everlasting happiness. Joy. Pleasures forevermore.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of JOY; at your right hand are PLEASURES forevermore!"
Psalm 16:11
My readings in Luke spurred on this blog post and I haven't even got to what I read in Luke and this blog post is long already so...maybe another day I will share my insights from Luke. Or maybe now...
"But they had no child, because Elizabeth was BARREN and both were advanced in years."
Luke 1:7
"And the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus...And Mary said to the angel, 'How will this be, since I am a virgin?'
Luke 1:30-31, 34
"And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her WHO WAS CALLED BARREN.
FOR NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD."
Luke 1:36-37
Elizabeth was called barren. Like a nickname. Or more of an insult. People made that her identity, "Elizabeth? Oh yeah. That barren woman, right?" Mary was a virgin. And pregnant. Joseph was going to divorce her quietly to avoid shame (Matthew 1:19). Sanctifying a little bit, you think?
God does all things for His glory and our good. They go hand in hand. And He cares. Oh He cares so deeply. Keller puts it like this:
"It (the gospel) is that you are so lost and flawed, so sinful, that Jesus had to die for you, but you are also so LOVED that Jesus was GLAD to die for you." (The Meaning of Marriage, p 55)
I can't pretend to know how God will use baby number five to sanctify Ryan and Sarah. I know quite a bit of sanctification is around the corner for the Hamptons as they welcome their first. And the next nine months and beyond for my friend will be oh so sanctifying as she must daily run to Jesus with fears of health problems and how she will have to take her eyes off of the budget that screams "you need more money" and trust in a God who will provide. And He will provide. (After all, nothing will be impossible with God!). Sanctifying a little bit? My sanctification? Running to Jesus to satisfy me. Meditating on His greatness and not my plans to make me great.
Amen. Come Lord Jesus.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Me and Sarah Edwards
As a fairly new (assistant) pastor's wife, I'm beginning to see all the opportunities to apply lessons learned prior to this season in life. Mary, the mother of Jesus, often treasured up things in her heart and pondered them. I've been pondering too lately. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Jason was given the opportunity to preach this weekend on short notice. This means, in a sense, he works overtime this week. Expectations of how we were going to spend our Saturday as a family changed. I have two options. I can be bitter. Or I can rejoice.
God prepared me for moments like these by someone named Sarah Edwards. Wife of Jonathan Edwards. One of America's greatest theologians. Noel Piper in her book "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" says this, "How could she have known the gift she was giving us as she freed Jonathan to fulfill his calling?" (p 36) Sarah took on mass amounts of household duties, caring for their property, and raising 11 children. Noel says, "...as Sarah stepped into this role of wife, she freed him to pursue the philosophical, scientific, and theological wrestlings that made him the man we honor." (p20) Caveat: clearly a pastor is not to neglect his family for the sake of ministry but thats a whole other blog post in itself...and not something I think Jonathan Edwards was guilty of.
Now, I'm not married to a Jonathan Edwards, regarding his intensity, as he spent 13 hours or so a day in his office. This did include the times Sarah would go in for a chat or when others would visit for counsel or prayer. But still. Thirteen hours a day. That is a lot of time given to bible study and sermon prep! It makes a Saturday seem pretty measly. But it is in the act of joyfully letting my husband go and tending to my family alone that we grow and mature as believers and that others are edified and spurred on in their walks with Jesus (Lord willing) as Jason (or any pastor) preaches the sermon he's able to put together by spending hours in God's word and other resources.
I'm sure, and I'm pretty new at this so I could be wrong, that any wife of someone in ministry, whether full time or part time, has this same opportunity to be bitter or rejoice as their husbands walk out the door each time. Whether expected or unexpected. And I'm sure Sarah wasn't always rejoicing and praising God for her circumstances but bitterness was not her norm. She embraced what God had given her to do and she did it well. I hope I do the same. I hope I can see that God is, and will continue, to use my husband for the furthering of His kingdom and for building up the church and that I can humbly submit to my part which is joyfully allowing him to go and be used for God's glory by preparing sermons or Sunday school lessons. To not be a burden to my husband, making him feel as if I want him home all the time, but to give him the freedom to go and study and serve God's people by preparing well to rightly divide God's word. I pray I do that joyfully and willingly. Who knows the legacy your husband will leave (no pressure to be like Edwards, here, honey!) but you and I, wives, can leave one of joy, not bitterness. Thankfulness, not grumbling. Sacrifice, not selfishness. Service, not self-seeking. Hard work, not laziness.
So, off to the kitchen I go to prepare a little dinner...
God prepared me for moments like these by someone named Sarah Edwards. Wife of Jonathan Edwards. One of America's greatest theologians. Noel Piper in her book "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" says this, "How could she have known the gift she was giving us as she freed Jonathan to fulfill his calling?" (p 36) Sarah took on mass amounts of household duties, caring for their property, and raising 11 children. Noel says, "...as Sarah stepped into this role of wife, she freed him to pursue the philosophical, scientific, and theological wrestlings that made him the man we honor." (p20) Caveat: clearly a pastor is not to neglect his family for the sake of ministry but thats a whole other blog post in itself...and not something I think Jonathan Edwards was guilty of.
Now, I'm not married to a Jonathan Edwards, regarding his intensity, as he spent 13 hours or so a day in his office. This did include the times Sarah would go in for a chat or when others would visit for counsel or prayer. But still. Thirteen hours a day. That is a lot of time given to bible study and sermon prep! It makes a Saturday seem pretty measly. But it is in the act of joyfully letting my husband go and tending to my family alone that we grow and mature as believers and that others are edified and spurred on in their walks with Jesus (Lord willing) as Jason (or any pastor) preaches the sermon he's able to put together by spending hours in God's word and other resources.
I'm sure, and I'm pretty new at this so I could be wrong, that any wife of someone in ministry, whether full time or part time, has this same opportunity to be bitter or rejoice as their husbands walk out the door each time. Whether expected or unexpected. And I'm sure Sarah wasn't always rejoicing and praising God for her circumstances but bitterness was not her norm. She embraced what God had given her to do and she did it well. I hope I do the same. I hope I can see that God is, and will continue, to use my husband for the furthering of His kingdom and for building up the church and that I can humbly submit to my part which is joyfully allowing him to go and be used for God's glory by preparing sermons or Sunday school lessons. To not be a burden to my husband, making him feel as if I want him home all the time, but to give him the freedom to go and study and serve God's people by preparing well to rightly divide God's word. I pray I do that joyfully and willingly. Who knows the legacy your husband will leave (no pressure to be like Edwards, here, honey!) but you and I, wives, can leave one of joy, not bitterness. Thankfulness, not grumbling. Sacrifice, not selfishness. Service, not self-seeking. Hard work, not laziness.
So, off to the kitchen I go to prepare a little dinner...
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