Sanctification? Check!

Lately I've been struck with the reality that all of life really is about our sanctification. And that's not a bad thing. Just reality. And it's ultimately for our good. Because it lands us at Jesus' feet. This question from Gary Thomas' book "Sacred Marriage" keeps popping into my head:

"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" (p13)

Marriage has certainly been a constant source of sanctifying moments but lately it's been other things. One thing in particular. Friend's of mine announcing they are pregnant. I rejoice with them but then I immediately begin to think:

"What if God designed timing of pregnancies to make us holy more than to make us happy."

I hesitate to write on this again as I feel I'm beating a dead horse since I wrote something similar to this in my post about desires. But God seems to be beating this dead horse in me, maybe because the horse is still not dead...sorry...horrific analogy. 

To let you in on a little secret, Jason and I want lots of kids. We usually say, "We want as many as the Lord will give us." But maybe what we (read: I) really mean is we want lots of kids really close together! Clearly, it's for my sanctification to not have that desire fulfilled. Which is good. Why? Because then I run to Jesus, and I find satisfaction there in His presence. Not in a positive pregnancy test. 

But what strikes me is this. In December, while my family was in Lubbock for Christmas, my sister-in-law found out she was pregnant. With their fifth. They had twins a little over a year ago. They weren't necessarily trying to get pregnant except for the occasional, "Yeah, let's go for it." Welp, they went for it and so did God. Boom. Baby number five on the way. Excuse me, baby GIRL number five on the way. Yep, five girls. Some lucky husbands in the future. They're precious girls. Anywho, I remember Ryan praying before they headed out and he prayed a verse from Psalms (or maybe Proverbs) about how children are a blessing from the Lord, even when we may not "want" another (read that carefully, more of a timing thing...they clearly love children!). I held back tears because I LONGED to be in Sarah's shoes. Pregnant with her fifth. Post twins. My dream. God knows that. But what is sanctifying for me is NOT getting that. What's sanctifying for Ryan and Sarah, is having baby girl number five on the way!

A few weeks later Matt and Whitney Hampton are at our dinner table and announce they are pregnant! I had absolutely NO trouble rejoicing with them as we have prayed for them for a year to get pregnant and been with them through life's ups and downs and I could not be more happy for them. But again. A friend of mine was pregnant and I was not. That was around the time when God began to show me my little idol of 'desiring children' (explained in my post titled "Desires...they're tricky.). Sanctification at it's finest. 

Then. Yesterday. A friend who I will not name (as it's not public knowledge yet) sent me a text of a positive pregnancy test. Followed by a text saying she was devastated (again, read carefully, they love children but...). Why was she devastated? She didn't want to have another until her second (they have three) were in school. She has health issues and wanted to lose weight. They have financial concerns. She wanted more kids but the timing of this couldn't be more wrong. Or could it?

"What if God designed the timing of pregnancies to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

I would be so happy to be pregnant right now but would it be the most sanctifying? Probably not. My friend would be so happy to not be pregnant right now but would it be the most sanctifying? Probably not. 

When I desire God above all else, I essentially desire my sanctification more than my happiness because I know to be like Jesus, to be in his presence, brings ultimate happiness. Everlasting happiness. Joy. Pleasures forevermore.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of JOY; at your right hand are PLEASURES forevermore!"

Psalm 16:11

My readings in Luke spurred on this blog post and I haven't even got to what I read in Luke and this blog post is long already so...maybe another day I will share my insights from Luke. Or maybe now...

"But they had no child, because Elizabeth was BARREN and both were advanced in years."

Luke 1:7

"And the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus...And Mary said to the angel, 'How will this be, since I am a virgin?'

Luke 1:30-31, 34

"And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her WHO WAS CALLED BARREN.

FOR NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD."

Luke 1:36-37

Elizabeth was called barren. Like a nickname. Or more of an insult. People made that her identity, "Elizabeth? Oh yeah. That barren woman, right?" Mary was a virgin. And pregnant. Joseph was going to divorce her quietly to avoid shame (Matthew 1:19). Sanctifying a little bit, you think? 

God does all things for His glory and our good. They go hand in hand. And He cares. Oh He cares so deeply. Keller puts it like this:

"It (the gospel) is that you are so lost and flawed, so sinful, that Jesus had to die for you, but you are also so LOVED that Jesus was GLAD to die for you." (The Meaning of Marriage, p 55)

I can't pretend to know how God will use baby number five to sanctify Ryan and Sarah. I know quite a bit of sanctification is around the corner for the Hamptons as they welcome their first. And the next nine months and beyond for my friend will be oh so sanctifying as she must daily run to Jesus with fears of health problems and how she will have to take her eyes off of the budget that screams "you need more money" and trust in a God who will provide. And He will provide. (After all, nothing will be impossible with God!). Sanctifying a little bit? My sanctification? Running to Jesus to satisfy me. Meditating on His greatness and not my plans to make me great. 

Amen. Come Lord Jesus.